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Dec. 12th, 2008

Writer's Block: Lost & Found

What have you lost that you wish you still had?
A few good friends.

Apr. 8th, 2008

Writer's Block: Lost & Found

What have you lost that you wish you still had?


Jan. 28th, 2008


(no subject)

I feel sick to my stomach. Unnerving. It can't seem to be from stress though cause I've lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders in that dept this past weekend.
Things seem to be off to a bad start this year: no end of guilt from my family, hardly any hours at sbux, and my health issues continue to morph and plague me as much as they ever have.

Oct. 21st, 2007


a million pumpkin spice pumps, not working.

RED SOX did it again last night.
made me so happy.

i got to play with jim's son last night too.
he's is such a cutie. so funny.
so much hugging, so much laughing.
he calls everything and everybody "mumma."
or, "big car".

mel finally opened up a little more.
the only time we actually got on really well was when we were both drinking quite a bit.
that was last year too.

i lay down with robbie at like 1a,
got up at 4:30a and drove home.
i think had i thrown myself down jim's stairs it would've been quieter than my tip-toeing.

picked ging up and dropped her off at fresh pond.
went home, got dressed for work,
went to lindas and got breakfast sandwiches.
went back to fresh pond.
now and sitting, free wi-fi,
coffee. happy.
dreading the day before me a little bit.

i think i'm closing with noah again tonight.
we closed last night which was decent.
mostly because kellen was there -
he let me draw a treasure map all the way up his arm,
elbow to the back of his hand.
the treasure chest looked like a muffin,
so I wrote "not a muffin" next to it.

totally sweet.
i miss pete.

yani is coming over next saturday.
maybe robbie too.
he is going to try to work at staples too on saturday until he can get a car.
i hope that he can get it all done. he's ... bound to need a lil help with that.
maybe it's gonna be watching him flounder and then fail again - but, thats life.
as an adult, i suppose.

Aug. 29th, 2007

(no subject)

three bars in one night.
only problem is - it's a tuesday.
perhaps not problem, so much as...

ging is home.
i am overjoyed.

robbie and i are still talking -
everyday. i'm confused as to what that means.
are we "seeing eachother" or "dating"?
and... after all this time, why is it still weird?

went out with pete, heather (who is working at THE FIELD as of tonight) grace, dan, nicole, [sadly] david and rachel. but madeline (grace's sister), sara[h], grace's bf, and no-fun-john showed up too, so it was a good night.

i bumped into kristen tonight at the cantab.
surprisingly a way better night than i've seen there.
must yelp about it later.
must do lots of sleeping now -
imperative that i wake up for work.

Jul. 22nd, 2007

(no subject)

back from vacation.
not ready for the real life.
aaron took a spill on his motorcycle while i was gone.
he is beat the fuck up.
i went to watch a movie at cecil's house with him tonight.
am angry with robbie for being all weird and shit again.
can't blame him, cause it doesn't seem logical...
pissed all the same.
my eyes are heavy.
went to the field with liz tonight for a few beers.
going to alisha's mum's house sunday night for steaks.
cousin billy was in RENT tonight.
i missed it, which upsets me.
aaron and ginger are both down for a cruise.
if only we had the perfect group next time -
ah well, we have time to perfect it....

Jul. 9th, 2007

(no subject)

i am scrambling to get this work done for my side job. i want to send off alot of the files before i go on vacation, so i don't worry about wasting time. i also need to make MUCHO money before i skip off on vacation, but i doubt it will happen. i'm dippin into savings as is.

i wanted to get a tan before i went to the Caribbean but, i guess it won't happen... i can't seem to fall asleep before 3am these days. fucken christ. so bad. but i had a weird weekend, to say the least. hopefully this week will only get easier/better. i need to get up early to find all these things i need for tomorrow. oy. i should be sleeping, not working...

went to donna's birthday - made me think about last year... kind of wish it were more like last year's party. but whatever. things are obviously not the same as they were. but what can you do about it - aside from changing with the times, that is...

Jul. 7th, 2007

(no subject)

so at 1am, we decided to go to the club.
i caught up with:
5 shots of henny and one hieniken in about 1/2 an hr.
so...... yes.
the wonderbar.

Jun. 21st, 2007

(no subject)

i just finished my interview for a job at starbucks - yeah, free coffee and 30% off merch. in the immortal words of mr. p. christian "...totally sweet..." i like swifty, and even if he doesn't hire me at starbucks, which i am almost certain he will... he will hire me to wire his kitchen this summer. though, ouch - how to price a sidejob when he is your potential, or current boss?! oy! i will have to poll the guys at work about that one or maybe just doug and lloyd...

i hate school, but i am going to try to rock it this summer. i want to come in first in the tests, ecc. i want to blow this guy away and prove that eventhough he is totally incapable of holding my attention for five seconds put together that i am smart and i know some shit.

thats all.

May. 14th, 2007

(no subject)

after taking a hiatus from lj i remembered it still existed and i don't really have the patience to write anything in my real journal today. this week has been really heavy, really difficult.

i was admitted into the hospital on Thursday, numbness in my left side - my hand, foot and face. only the left side. typing is a little dicey, considering i used to be able to spew out my thoughts as fast as possible before my left hand is actin up and not hitting all the right keys these days.

i'm undiagnosed so far, but the neurology team seems to think that i have MS. yeah, me. 22 years old, the girl who is quick to run circles around you just to prove that i can, quick to beast couches and tvs here and there, now i am unsure when walking up stairs. it's a radically fast change and it's making me think about ALOT of the things that i've been able to do.

i hope that it's not MS and that i will be able to continue with my life and not have something like that dominate my day-to-day. i feel like i should be able to shake it. it's not weakness, it's just numbness. it's stupid, superficial, if there weren't lesions on my brain i wouldn't have believed them at all.

perhaps its all just a bad dream.

it's too much information with no real answer to the question "what is wrong with me?" it could be this, or that, or lupus, or this kind of MS or that kind. it could be NOTHING! nothing! nothing? how can nothing be wrong with me when i can't seem to feel things on the left side?! i don't understand.

i have been lucky thus far -
whoever was looking over me,
please still be there.

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